GOOD COMMUNICATION AND SOCIAL
SKILLS ARE FOR WIMPS!
Read My Mind
Constantly give your people vague instructions. Be visibly irritated when they ask questions to clarify what you want from them. (A pained expression or a sigh will do.) Then get angry when the result is not what you wanted. These double bind, damned-if-you-do/damned-if-you-don’t tactics are a potent potion. One drink and they’ll be hooked on hating you!
What was That Again?
Mark Twain once said, “The difference between the right word, and almost the right word is like the difference between “lightning” and “lightning bug.” Never use words that hit the bull’s-eye on what you really mean. Make them guess. Say, “Get me the file on this project,” but don’t identify what kind of file you want. Say, “get ahold of Jack” instead of “email Jack,” or “call Jack.” Say, “Let’s pull the trigger on that project,” instead of, “I want Bill to start writing the proposal tomorrow morning.” Say, “Call that client I saw on Monday and ask her if she reached her final decision,” even though he saw 3 female clients that day. As I mentioned earlier, be sure to be irritated and impatient when your employee asks for clarification.