Chapter 13. Communication Killers: Diverting a Concern
This third category of communication blockers includes various ways of taking the conversation off-track. Below, I list three primary methods of doing this, but they all imply the same things to the other person: “I don’t care about the issues or feelings that led you to bring this up in conversation.”
Here’s how we do that:
Sidetracking
This is what we do when we bend the other’s topic of conversation toward our own. This one has an ironic signal…it is often (but not always) preceded by the phrase, “Speaking of that…,” when they weren’t “speaking of that” at all.
Reassurance
How can this be a communication blocker? When someone shares with you a need, concern or problem, offering reassurance too soon signals your desire to put emotional distance between you and the other person. This is especially true when your reassurance is trite or dismissive.
“You’re going to be fine.”
“Everybody feels that way.”
“They lived through it, so will you.”
Dismissive reassurance is often delivered with platitudes or clichés, “Into each life a little rain must fall.” “Every cloud has a silver lining.”