Chapter 4. 6 Things to Avoid During Confrontation
Mark Twain’s observation is true: “The difference between the right word and almost the right word is like the difference between ‘lightning’ and ‘lightning bug’.”
When you must confront someone, there are certain phrases that stop the communication process in its tracks and shouldn’t be used. Simply avoiding these phrases can go a long way toward making confrontation less risky.
“I’m not going to say this again.”
Really? Chances are…you will say it again. These words paint you into a corner. When the issue comes up again, then your only options are to: #1. Say it again, which is what you said you would NOT do. This is a credibility problem for you. Or, #2. Take some sort of action, which is implied by the phrase. In fact, it may be premature to take action, or it may seem radical or unreasonable. Or, #3. Don’t say it again, and don’t take any action, either. This is a terrible credibility problem for you.
Better to meet the issue with something like this: “It is very important that you understand what I am about to say, so listen very carefully.” When you are finished, ask for feedback or ask them to paraphrase what you said back to you in their own words.